Week 14

This is already the last week of my one year foundation studies. After my finals next week, I'll be done with pre-U forever.

This whole year in college had been such a whirlwind, so many things to do and so many changes to adapt to. I remember when I first started college, fresh-faced and innocent with nothing but shining, glimmering dreams of the future.

I made many friends and met alot of people, good ones and some really great ones, and I learned much about independence and responsibility in this short 11 months away from home. However, not all of the people stayed in my life for a very long time. Only a selected few left whom I hold very dearly in my heart.

Events and happenings for the previous semesters seemed so distant and vague to me now. I used to have so much happening for me in my life, but now it all seem to come down to nothing. Nothing made a lasting impact, nor do they hold any importance to me now. But still, thanks for the memories.

Throughout this semester, it felt like I had not been studying enough. Maybe it's because I lost interest, or maybe because I want different things now compared to when I just started. However, I will still give my best for the finals or else my whole year of past efforts would have been in vain.

Looking back, I wonder what college is really about. It means different things to a bunch of different people. Some take it seriously and it's all studies and no play with them, but some take it as an opportunity to have fun and get wasted.

Me? It used to be all about studies, then organising events, and then fabulous outings with friends. But now, I like to think that it's a place for me to learn to grow up...


...And I think I'm catching up pretty fast.

It's not me, it's you.

....



It's not my fault the world does not revolve around you.

I Was Once An Avid Blogger...

... But now I guess I'm not who I thought I was anymore.

It's been forever since I had a proper update on what I've been up to, and it's not because I have been up to nothing (not Cafe World only ok! wtf), it's because I chose not to share anymore.

Going through my blog, several significant events were left out of the loop, details were spared and it was just like nothing ever happened or changed at all.

Truth is, so many things happened -major ones and not-so-important ones- but I conveniently chose to not share it here, not because I don't want to, but simply because I am not able to express things as freely as I once could. So many things, feelings and people need to be considered when I write that it seemed such a chore for me to blog. Better off not doing it, makes my life a whole lot easier.

Or maybe I'm just complicating things. Can't help but feel a little sorry to see my blog in this state of vacant. Maybe I'll come back when I found myself.

Until then, take care.

Alexander Lee

3 great words for 3 great months.



i love you.



click here.

my phone is cooler than yours

PROOF:



It tells me when a thunderstorm is heading my way, yours got not?

from the closet

READ THIS: I know that I posted previously that I was on hiatus but when blogspiration came I just couldn't resist it! Hahaahahahhahaa note to self: never take my announcements seriously!

I was unpacking my stuff upstairs in my room when certain items caught my eye. Those things evoked so many memories of me and my family in better times. Memories that I chose to shove behind my head and bury it forever was digging its way out of its grave.

above- a Christmas tree ornament, below- a Christmas tree lamp

These two items were bought like 5 years ago from Ikea. It was meant to decorate my new room in the Ipoh house which I never got the chance to live in . I intially wanted to decorate my room with all things Christmas- Christmas tress, reindeers, Santa Claus, snowmen, angels and all the stars in the world! There I was, a naive little girl who wanted to feel like it was Christmas everyday in her room because Christmas always makes her feel like some Christmas magic is gonna happen to her any minute.

Unfortunately, my parents rented out the Ipoh house already so I never did got a chance to fufil my Christmas room fantasy and now I'm stuck with reminders of What Could Have Been. I can't say it's a good feeling, or a bad one but it's just somewhere in between where there are no words to describe what it feels like.

Hello Kitty plushies from 10 years ago.

I remember we used to queue up like mad in McDonald's for these stupid toys and my mom went and encased it like in museum only wtf. My dad even went to work earlier in Singapore so that he could queue up in the McDonald's there to buy them for me. I only collected three of them though, the Japanese wedding, Korean wedding and Chinese wedding lol. I like the Chinese wedding one best and I want it in my bridal chamber when I get married next time!

Fast forward a few years and I was in my teens in Secondary school. I did and said alot of stupid things that I'm not proud of right now, but I had alot of fun during my school times too. I regret now, wishing to grow up and go to college so fast that I let my high school life passed me in a whirl and now it's too late to go back.

class pic 2007, spot me.

High school was when I was most rebellious, said the meanest things and committed the most selfish of acts. I was young, wild and dying for freedom which I never get to taste until now. Sometimes I miss being young and innocent without a care for the world and its worries like how I need to now. I have responsibilities now and I need to bear the consequences of my actions if I'm ever gonna be taken seriously by anyone.

posters of celebrities I worshiped in my closet and bathroom door =.=
I was a teen, for Pete's sake, don't judge!

Throughout my life, I have met so many people and went through so many different things with them. I was grateful that they crossed paths with me but I did not hold against them for leaving me in the end. After so many failed attempts at keeping friendships, I can finally tell who are the people who are worth my time and attention and who aren't. Thanks for those who were with me and who are still with me now. I'll never forget any of you, and by that I mean I'll never forget the bad things you've done to me too. It works both ways ;)

my name in graffiti style from a once a very dear friend of mine.
it was lovely while it lasted, the friendship :)

So many things have changed in just a span of a few years time. I am a different person from who I was when I was in secondary school. Some say I turned bad, into this wild party girl that only wants to have fun and seconds her studies. But maybe that's just because I want to enjoy my life to the fullest when I am still young and have all the time in the world for fun. But I'm still the same person I was, I still go to class and have good grades (cgpa 3.93, eat that suckers.) so I don't see a problem with my partying.

my time capsule 2008 which marks the end of an awesome chapter in my life.
it had been sealed and I have no memory of what I kept inside.
shall open it in 10 years time :)

In short, I love how my life is right now and the people around me. If I could go back in the past, I would change a few things but that's all. There are 2 more months left in the year and I don't want to look back again next year and regret things that I've done and things that I've not done. 2 more months is still enough time for me to change to be a better person, a better daughter, a better sister, a better girlfriend, a better friend and a better student.

One thing that hasn't and never will change about me though, is my penchant for gold-coloured handphone pouches wtf call me obsessed!

=)

crossroads

on hiatus.